Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mommy Plants

The collard plants have turned into a riot of yellow-mopped beauties. These seeds are fourth generation wild-hybridized collards. The first seeds were planted in 2008, the variety known as Vates Georgia Collards. The parents and grandparents of these buttery lemonheads fought back against aphid invasions, but this winter they were able to flower early and so there are no aphids.

Today Micah noticed the bright display and commented on how the plants had turned into mommy plants.

"They are tall mommies. They are hairy mommies. I think they are hairy mommies."

Tall hairy hippy greens-lovin' mommies.

I love the greens so so much and they produced so much abundance that I became saturated. I ate an enormous meal of roasted greens the night that every adult in the house came down with a tempestuous stomach bug. So the plants have been left to themselves to complete their life cycle. We got our fill.

I haven't had a green smoothie in well over a week. There has been a cinnamon toast craze gripping the family. We can't get enough cinnamon toast! Just this morning we ran out of cinnamon. A wondrously magical plant.

Someone once told me that as long as I had a garden I would feel peace in my life. Mommy plants.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Confessions of an Atheist

Even though I am an atheist I still adore the god(dess) stories. I slip in and out of those stories without even knowing it through my daily thoughts and musings. Then sometimes I remind myself to just be present without any stories and they shed off like water droplets cascading off a ducks back. The stories always reappear to beg my opinion, of course, and I will engage in them frequently, as many are quite enjoyable.

One story that is particularly enjoyable is that of reincarnation. I have been able to imagine a godless reincarnation where it is just some law of the universe that consciousness continuously slips through different incarnations. It's just so enjoyable to imagine past adventures and escapades with current friends and family!

Another story I love is gratitude for blessings--feeling like special moments were given to me. I realized today that I only want to feel gratitude toward people, not gods or universes. If a moment feels extra special then I aim to occupy that moment freely and if it involves another person to be grateful to that person for their kindness. I aim to be aware of flattering myself regarding blessings and "feeling good." My goal is peace.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Grand Person's Day

Today was Grand Person's Day at Noah's school and also the Open House is tonight. I am glad I was able to attend this event. Noah told me that he was going to have to "sit on the wall" during recess for talking to CJ. (!!!) I accidentally arrived about an hour early which was actually fine because I got to sit in a room of 30 seven-year-olds! It was like being in a room full of puppies! They all came over and loved on Ana and asked me to watch them do cool stuff or tell me something they know. Then during recess there was always a cloud of girls and sometimes a boy that wanted to help Micah do anything he wanted! They took turns pushing him on the swing. Noah and his best friend C.J. just ran to the opposite ends of the fields pretending to be motorcycles. A little girl that Noah went to a birthday party of told me that her mom had her baby a few days ago and is in the hospital :( I know she was planning a birth center birth.

Anyway! The event at Noah's school progressed after the recess with the arrival of all the Grand Persons. I love seeing the family of the children! I feel so blessed to be a part of their lives and their children's. Also, I am perpetually impressed by the teacher's ability to split her brain in so many ways! Her skills and abilities are beyond my comprehension.

I had been feeling anxiety toward the school when I shaved my head around three weeks ago. I worried about how people's thoughts of me would affect how they interact with my son. Ridiculous!!

I wore a hat. I am not ashamed! I saw another woman wearing a hat and she was also wearing stilletto heels!

Whether or not I wear a hat doesn't change who I am.

After all the melee and intensely short conversations with various parents, I returned home thinking that school is not the worst place he could be during his day. There is a genial feel among students and they interact with their peers in a friendly, amiable manner.

I feel like a balloon letting out air because I can let school be school again. His teacher is a normal beautiful human, not what I have characterized in my mental story of school. I can let school be just school.

I don't know why my emotions get so wrapped up in school thoughts. But being at the school clears them away. Because I can see everything as it is. Blissfully uneventful. Which is especially poignant because one year ago a little girl at his school was martyred for Gabrielle Giffords--an angel went to Noah's School. She is still there, it feels like. People are so kind, but shy to each other. The principal's name is Foster Hepler--he is living his purpose--and that's his educational philosophy--kindness.